Before we get started with our day of enjoying grilled meats, drinking beer, and enjoying that unique American brand of freedom, let’s take a moment to recognize those who gave everything for our country.
On that note, I’ve got quite the day ahead of me and so I’m going to revisit an article I first wrote in September of 2011, updated for the modern fan. I’m feeling a little lazy today and I’m not afraid to own it.
Although the last half-dozen years have been the hardest stretch many of us have had to endure, it’s still important that Broncos Country looks their best when rocking their gear. We’ve all seen jersey faux pas in our day-to-day lives and I’m here to give you a few tips so that you don’t end up the laughing stock of your stadium section or living room.
1. Do your best to honor the uniform choice of the team on each particular game day. For example, Orange Monday (how long has it been since we’ve had one of those?). You should probably choose your orange jersey over the white or blue. When the Broncos are in their visitor whites, go for the whites. Home blues? Go with that. Keep it simple. However, when in doubt as to what uniform the Broncos are going to wear, you can always error on the side of orange. Nobody will fault you for it and you’re guaranteed to look pretty freakin’ sweet.
2. Players retire and move on leaving you with a relic of their tenure in Denver. What do you do with old jerseys? It really depends on the player. If you have the jersey of a former Bronco great; Sharpe, Miller, Elway, Manning, McCaffrey, Smith, Atwater, Gradishar, Little, etc. are all acceptable to wear at any time regardless of the color scheme of the team (unless it’s Orange Monday). Jerseys of recently departed players should be off limits. We know you spent a fortune on that Daesean Hamilton jersey, but nobody want to see that.
3. Under no circumstances are you to deface a Broncos jersey. Putting duct tape on it in the shape of the male anatomy because you were angry about how Cutler left Denver is insulting to the colors. Also forbidden is the cutting of jerseys in half to sew together with another team’s jersey. It’s not so hard to make a singular choice on game day. Just pick one. You don’t need to destroy two jerseys to show that you’re noncommittal to either team.
4. Jerseys with your own name or “#1PRATERFAN” on it are frowned upon (unless you’re under eight years-old). Gimmicky broncos jerseys are also not encouraged. Camouflage, pink, black - whatever the gimmick is probably not a good idea. If the team has ever worn it on the field, it’s okay.
5. Do not cross contaminate your jersey. Please do not wear your Broncos jersey with a hat from another sport/team. It’s confusing to see someone in a vintage Elway jersey also rocking a Tampa Bay Rays hat. The jersey demands respect while the silly hat choice makes one wonder...
6. Do not tuck your jersey into your shorts. We all know this guy. He’s the one who also rocks the cell phone holster on his belt and wears black socks with sandals. He must be stopped at all costs. Peyton Manning is exempt from this rule.
7. Do not buy one of those elongated “basketball length” jerseys if it’s not exactly what you want. There’s something awful about a dude that wears a jersey that hangs on him like a nightgown.
8. Dry clean your jerseys. Home washing machines will absolutely destroy your jersey. They cost more than some some dressy clothes and need to be afforded that same respect. Also, they can get more than a little gross after a season’s worth of wing sauce and beer stains (also recently the tear stains have been a bit overwhelming).
9. Personally, I don’t wear jerseys on non-game days and never during the off season. I see them as a game day treat. There’s just something wrong about seeing that rogue Steeler fan at the DMV in May rocking the full regalia.
10. Most importantly, especially for fans outside of Colorado, acknowledge your fellow Broncos fans who rock jerseys on game day. Be prideful that you root for the best team in football and revel in that with your fellow fans. We are the greatest fans in football and, after following these rules, Bronco fans should look better than the rest. Look good, feel good. Feel good, <something something> Broncos win the Super Bowl.
All this said, it’s Memorial Day... Wear what you want.
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