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Well, there’s...not a lot to say.
At least there’s not a lot to say that either hasn’t already been said or doesn’t contain four-letter expletives (this is a family site!).
The Denver Broncos did their best impression of the South Central Louisiana University Mud Dogs (pre-Bobby Boucher) in a horrendously bad 70-20 loss to the Miami Dolphins, so let’s recap the game as only it can be recapped...using GIFs.
Pre-game vibes
Yeah, no one was expecting a win here. The Broncos just dropped two straight at home to bad, non-playoff teams, so taking to the road to face one of the league’s best offenses with a defense that just gave up 35 points to Sam Howell...wasn’t ideal. Let’s just try and keep it close.
The Dolphins score pretty much immediately
Well, it only took three plays, and the defense that couldn’t contain Sam Howell somehow let Tyreek Hill get completely free for a 54-yard touchdown pass. How does that even happen? Hard to say, but it definitely set the tone for the rest of the way for the defense.
Three-and-out and another Dolphins TD...yay
The Broncos answer with nothing, and then the De’von Achane coming out party commences as the Dolphins go up 14-0 on the rookie’s touchdown run. Already, the game is getting out of hand, and there’s still more than 45 minutes of game time on the clock.
The Broncos offense starts clawing back
On the back of Russell Wilson’s five-of-six passing, topped off with a 12-yard pass in the end zone to Courtland Sutton, the Broncos finally got on the board. Even so, though, most Broncos fans knew what was about to happen next, so excitement about the score was...let’s say...minimal.
Aaaaaand the Dolphins score again
And the reason why the first Broncos touchdown didn’t generate much excitement is presented. It took a bit longer this time thanks to some Dolphins penalties, but once again the home team marched downfield largely uncontested for the score to go up 21-7. Tua has yet to throw an incomplete pass.
A Broncos field goal and Dolphins turnover on downs...is there hope?
After a controversial offensive pass interference call took away a touchdown, the Broncos settled for a field goal. Then the unthinkable happened...the Dolphins, perhaps a little too confident, attempted to go for it on a rare fourth down situation for them only to be stopped short. The Broncos now have the ball on the Dolphins’ 33-yard line with a chance to cut the lead to four points. If that happens, and the Broncos defense can hold on just one series, the Broncos get the ball first after half with the potential to take the lead.
The Broncos answer with a terrible offensive possession
So much for hope...the Broncos open the drive up with a penalty and follow it up with a short pass, a negative run, and a missed deep ball. Not only do the Broncos not get in the end zone, the penalty and lost yardage now forces them to punt. Very on brand.
The embarrassment continues
With a little over three minutes left, the Broncos didn’t take the gift the Dolphins gave them, so the latter took it for themselves. It took just 80 seconds for the home team to march down the field for another easy score. 28-10 Miami.
A fumble + another Dolphins TD = no words
At this point, the team is deep in the hole with the offense the only path to making this less embarrassing...and the unit only adds to the humiliation. Awful ball control by Courtland Sutton leads to a fumble and Dolphins recovery on the three-yard line. The Dolphins immediately punch the ball in, meaning they just scored 14 points in a little over a minute. The Broncos would answer with another field goal due to another penalty in the end zone to take away a touchdown, and this one is pretty much over.
Punt, TD, Fumble, TD, INT, TD
Wow...the series of possessions in the third quarter (do I really need to specify which team is which above?)...was the epitome of a team with a loser mentality. The defense quit, and the offense didn’t want to save them. Just end this game. The amount of money invested in this team for this performance is insulting.
Oh hey, the Dolphins backups want to score, too!
At this point, why not? Can the team even beg for mercy when it deserves this? Letting Mike White and Robby Chosen punch you in the mouth, though...that’s rock bottom. Until...
The Dolphins can’t not score
Mike McDaniel said after the game he was trying not to embarrass the Broncos, which is why he didn’t go for the single-season point record, and one can presume he started with the second to last series when he seemed intent on running basic run plays. And still, De’von Achane found a hole to big to ignore, and seeing as he won’t just lay down, he took it 67 yards to the house. Even when the Dolphins call off the dogs and try and throw the Broncos a bone, the latter finds a way to show their apathy even more.
Rock bottom
It’s only three games in, but at this point, all hope has been drained. This is a professional football franchise paying a lot of money to a lot of people. It doesn’t matter how fast the Dolphins are. Performances like that should never happen and are absolutely unacceptable. Heads should roll after that, but it’s unlikely we’ll see any major moves made just yet. At this point, the Broncos will continue to lose as long as they play like that’s what they expect.
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